A recent article in British Vogue by Chanté Joseph has dropped a trending insight on relationships, “Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing Now?” The article pushes the idea of independence and claims that obsessing over “couple goals” is totally out of style. 

It seems like we’ve entered an era where being single and focusing on self-goals is the ultimate status symbol; today’s youth are overlooking relationships and focusing on being the main character of their own story. 

If you have browsed social media in the past few days, reactions on the article have been all over many feeds. Many individuals uphold the idea and state that the “single era” has been a trend for a while now, while others claim that boyfriends aren’t just a trend to be trashed.

According to the article, the shift of the era has been just under our nose. So maybe the “hard launch” of that beautiful posed picture where you proudly announce your partner might just be over. Instead, many women are subtly choosing to “soft launch” their partners. A picture of a bouquet with a blurry note, a hand on a steering wheel, or the back of the partner’s head give the hint of an intimate relationship but lack concrete evidence. 

“But why the secrecy?” One might ask. “Aren’t you supposed to be proud of the partner you’ve picked?” 

The Vogue piece offers some core reasons on why women are choosing to keep their relationships private and “down low”. These reasons also reveal a lot about the current dating culture and reflect onto the upcoming post-millennial generation.

According to the article women are more tied into their public identity, which is a result of the rise of influencers and social media. Many women noted that men often end up doing something to “embarrass” them down the road. So why tie your public identity and image to someone who might let you down?

Furthermore, the rise of spirituality and mental health awareness have caused women to become more in touch with their energy and aura. By not being too “boyfriend-obsessed” women protect their aura from any harm by their partners down the line.

And overall the rise of the “single era” has influenced ladies in relationships to keep their partners truly private. Giving off the impression that you are fulfilled and successful on your own. 

However, the core argument of the viral piece is that being partnered no longer automatically means you’ve “achieved” something. For decades, getting a guy or girl was seen as the main prize. Nowadays, the focus has flipped, women are more interested and focused on self development and personal freedom. 

In this new social climate, relationships are viewed as optional and not as a necessity. Women don’t rely on men any more, and it truly shows. Does true commitment mean posting less? Or is that just a reflection of female selfishness?