I Don’t Want a Jeep


Trevor Moore

Of 477 cars surveyed, about 10% were Jeeps and 7% were pickup trucks.

Behold, the Weddington parking lot. Our lot is chocked full of everything from trucks, sedans, and most iconically: Jeeps. It is specifically our obsession with the Jeep that intrigues me. Almost 10% of cars owned by Weddington students are Jeeps. Considering that, it is my unpopular opinion that Jeeps are absolutely terrible cars to own. Allow me to elaborate.

To my understanding, there are three major benefits that Jeeps offer: the brand, the open roof (and doors), and its off-road capabilities. While these features sound great on paper, they aren’t really that worth much. First of all, it may say “Jeep”, but as far as I know nobody really finds that cool or unique. It seems every kid and their mom has a Wrangler here. In fact, you’re statistically more unique to own a pickup truck. Secondly, it is an uncommon occasion you catch a Wrangler with its top down. The reason is simple: convertibles and the like are impracticable. That is unless you like sunburn and not being able to hear the person in the seat next to you. Lastly, there is no reason to own an offroading-specialized vehicle in our suburban bubble. It isn’t like Weddington Road is a treacherous mud trail. To give it bluntly to you, these benefits that Jeeps are made to give have no relevance to us at Weddington. And, without those advantages, Jeeps are just normal cars. Yet they’re not even good at doing that!

Let’s think about the purpose of a car: to get you from point A to point B. A Jeep, specifically the Wrangler, will do that much but in a senselessly inefficient manner. If you’re lucky, you could catch 22-24 miles per gallon. Let me tell you something: the meer Prius gets over 50. On top of a poor five-seater fuel economy, Jeep insurance and maintenance is expensive. A set of Jeep tires is in the ballpark of $700! Furthermore, Wranglers are infamous for their poor safety ratings, scoring average at very best on crash tests. Specifically, the brand new 2018 and 2019 Wranglers are worth noting. They both received an embarrassing one-star safety rating by Euro NCAP. 

It’s for these reasons I think Jeep Wranglers are bad cars, especially for high school students. Honestly, if you’re gonna drop 30 grand on a car, I’d recommend spending a little more and get a Tesla Model 3. It’s cheaper to drive in the long run, crazy safe, and it’s environmental science teacher approved! And if you still believe in Jeeps, you can keep your Jeep. Keep it and enjoy contributing to the deaths of millions of innocent sea turtles, your empty bank account, and everything else you destroy you debauched, dreadful human being.

(Okay, maybe not that those last parts)